We all want to be selfless, and we can achieve this goal.
Let us first explore the image we have of a selfless person.
What is a selfless person (the image)?
A selfless person cares for society. Such a person compromises their own desires for the greater good of helping others.
They play a vital role in the development of society. And thus, it is perceived as one of the greatest virtues a human can possess.
Although selfless person is known for their selfless attributes, that they give away most of their belongings and energy for social care, they are smart people who can manage things well for themselves and for the people around them.
They are the ideals of any society. They provide us with ethical and social values, which are very important for humanity and our social structures.
They are compassionate beings who show us how we should live, ideally, and they inspire us.
This is an image we have in our minds of a selfless and/or enlightened person who puts others before himself.
Further, some of us also think that such a person is always in a blissful state: happy, calm, smiling and has a big heart. And we all want to become that…
Thus, this is our goal: to become a selfless person.
Why do I want to become a selfless person (the mechanism)?
All the details we have in our minds about the image of a selfless person, our inspiration, comes from the knowledge we have about selflessness.
This knowledge comes from our past learnings and experiences, everything we have read, learned, observed, seen, experienced, thought, etc. All that we are is a reflection of that very knowledge.
We have followed many inspirational teachers and models and want to become like them.
So, what do we do? Keep following those teachers, and maybe you will become one of them.
You will act the same. You will have compassion for others. You will learn how to sacrifice your desires and contribute toward the development of the society.
But you know very well, it isn’t that easy.
What happens when I force myself to become a selfless person?
Since you are not a selfless person in the present moment (or you think so), and there is this desire to become selfless, it creates an energetic division within yourself.
You are not what you want to be. You have not achieved your goal.
So you think you must try to achieve your goal. An effort is required to change yourself, and you are ready to work on it.
But the moment you start, you feel some sort of resistance in it. It does not flow naturally. Many times, you fail and kick yourself. Many times, you feel deprived of energy. And many times, you are simply unable to meet the expectations of others.
To achieve the image of a selfless person, something significant has to change within yourself.
But it does not happen. You put so much effort into trying to become something you are not, and all it does is create this duality in you.
You feel the guilt and need, but at the moment, it is only a plan in your mind, a goal to achieve. This is something for the future.
In reality, at this moment (now), you are not it. You know it and have accepted this fact. The hope that one day you will become that keeps you going.
How can I become a selfless person without creating a problem for myself?
Your desire to become a selfless person is itself selfish in nature. Let me explain how.
You want to become selfless because you want to be different from others. You want to be valued in the eyes of others. You want to strengthen your own image (ego) in the society and within yourself.
By becoming a selfless person, you will be more acceptable to yourself and others. You will contribute to society etc…, you know, you will become great (the image we have already discussed).
So, by becoming such a person, you will achieve the goal and be regarded as an influential person in society.
You want this because it will further your ego.
Thus, the demand to become a selfless person is in itself selfish and self-perpetuating at its core.
Everything in nature is selfish in a way, and selfless in other ways. It gives, and it takes. Existence operates in duality; it is cyclic in its nature.
Every single particle in the human body is selfish to its very core; however, it cooperates with neighbouring particles because its very own survival depends upon the survival of the other particles. They don’t have a choice.
Similarly, we are social animals and we live in a community. If we hurt anyone around us, the process will hurt us back. That is to say, if we destroy the other, we will disappear along with them.
When you know that we are all the same, we share the same fundamental energy, and that we are all a product of the same social structure, there comes a natural compassion for others.
This is the key point – that is to surrender to the magnificence of that energy and know that we are the same. We are one.
At the same time, know that selfishness is also within you, and it is there for a purpose, and there is no need to change it.
There is no need to change anything.
You see, you must do many things to become something you are not. But to be what you are, you have to do nothing.
When you are not in resistance within yourself, and you don’t want to get rid of the selfishness in you, the selfishness itself dissolves.
The solution lies in the acceptance of the selfishness that you are trying to avoid.
The solution lies in accepting what you are and stopping chasing shadows (ideals) of something that does not exist.
