My life was a tragedy, but now I realize, it’s a fuckin comedy!
I was afraid of coming out into the public. I was afraid that they wouldn’t like my jokes.
And yet I did… after a little struggle and an anxietic-laughter.
There is fear in all of us. And we want to get rid of it. This is the only reality we have.
We think that if we don’t have fear, we will be so much better. We will be able to express ourselves. We will be able to live the way we want!
Free from fear…at the top of this world!
Yet it does not go. There is always fear in us. Fear of tomorrow, fear of maintaining an image in society, and above all, fear of losing what we have.
we are only concerned about psychological fear. The physical fear, which arises due to certain life-threatening situations, is not encountered by us too often in today’s day and age, so that is not the point of discussion here.
Note
The fearful thoughts of not being enough trouble our minds all the time.
We are born out of fear. We are brought up in fear.
And we live in fear. You see, everyone around us is in fear. We were conditioned in fear from the very childhood.
Since I was a kid, I was expected to behave in a certain way. The goals were set by society (mother, teachers, friends, etc.). They said if you are not able to do all those things, you won’t be accepted/respected in society.
Their expectations created this fear, this burden in me from the very beginning of my life.
I must achieve those goals/standards. I am supposed to be something other than what I am.
I was supposed to be fearless, but here I was, full of fear.
Fear of unacceptance has been haunting me since I was a child. They pushed me toward the darkness of fear.
We fear for our survival in society. It is very common in all the clowns.
And we are afraid of death, of the unknown. Afraid of going back to the darkness from where we came from. Going back to the nature…the fear of death.
But then, how did I manage to overcome my fears?
How to get rid of fear;
1. I rejected all the social expectations and embraced myself
I realised that the whole society, the system, is false. So, the social pattern shattered in me. I have had enough of it.
I started to express myself and totally freed myself from the ideations of others. Fear of expectations became a history for me.
I became free of other people’s opinions because I knew they were all biased toward their self-interests.
2. I started to appreciate/accept myself in whatever I did
I realised that nature, the magnificent existence, has created whatever I am today.
I started to appreciate myself. I understood my limitations. I stopped following others and stood up for myself.
Observing the magic in nature, my true mother, I gained confidence in whatever I am.
realised that this whole life game is a play of energy, of nature. So, I started enjoying expressing myself as I never did before.
I started to appreciate this play of nature and started playing well.
3. I observed my conditioning and accepted my fears.
Since we are a product of the environment, of years of conditioning, the fears are already a part of our beings. Our emotional states, which include fear, are already there, and we can’t just stop them from operating in our bodies.
So, whenever I feel afraid, I simply notice how I am operating, how my body is responding to the sensations of fear, etc. I stopped fighting with myself.
I observed that all these sensations do not stay there for long. They just come and go.
Slowly, these sensations started appearing less and less as I offered no resistance to them. They stopped exciting me anymore. I think they lost interest in me.
